Glibbered.

Ahhh, it's been a long while. I've been in over my head. & now, everything's catching up with me. School, all those lecture skipping, tutorial missed, exams I sat for, projects due, are finally catching up with me. Bad results, some surprisingly good ones, projects, lots and lots of reading and understanding, practice on tutorial questions. Oh my, the list seems neverending. & my head's pretty occupied by other things as well. Argh, the misery. So many things hounding the very essence of my soul. Just. Let. Me. Be.

It gets very tiring. Me. I'm so messed up, I swear I might just bang my head against the wall hard continuously till the pain sinks in. & I finally realise that the finer things in life, things you covet, they're actually out of reach. So why try? Thats the fault in it all. The hope that is attached to every try. You don't admit its there, but you know it is. Bloody. It's all shit. I'm shit. So don't bother asking me out, forcing me into it, and give me hell thereafter when I cancel. But its all my fault. As usual. I. Just. Suck. Apparently.

Everytime I close my eyes, I hope to die. Or at least be transported to a whole other time. Or just some place else. Everytime.