Saturday, September 30, 2006

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self-centred-ness seem to overpower everyone now. witnessing such event makes my blood boil. i mean, i've sacrifised alot and what about you? you don't even give a f*cking shit about doing such things. but oh wells, i know i should ask too much from you.

and you. you think that all this is fun right. i don't know how i'm going to get through another year with this kind of mates. well, i know you don't treat me as a friend. well done. i just think that this is very childish. and, unfortunately, theres nothing that i do that can help the situation.

and another. you're just drifting away. again. i've done my part, how about you? its puzzling how now, my secondary schools friends are the ones lifting up my spirits. even my family doesn't.

Thursday, September 28, 2006

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I'm really turning sceptical nowadays. I question every little thing that happens around me. Even if it doesn't concern me at all. But its amazing that I can be indifferent and ignorant at the same time. I vividly remember and realise that I block out everything my mom and future brother in law said one evening. And looking back, I've no idea why the hell I did that. Maybe its because they're too busy yakking away till I can't be bothered to reply whatever they've said. Or maybe, its just me.

I've gone through alot this week. From nearly getting myself grounded to stupid-for-little-kids-sex-talk in school. And I think its going to get worse. I hate being all non-existent to some people since I know its going to go on forever and inevitably it certainly affects me. And, since I know nothing I can do will help the situation, I've succumb to those childish acts so that its a mutual feeling. Silly me for thinking that its all back to normal. And I have no choice do I? Since you can't beat them, join them. I will oh-so-regret for acting this way. But oh wells, I have no choice do I?

i'm in need for a friend to be my study buddy in school. thank god maya's around!:)

Sunday, September 24, 2006

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My heart
Disini kau dan aku
Terbiasa bersama
Menjalani kasih sayang
Bahagia kudenganmu
Pernahkah kau menguntai
Hari paling indah
Ku ukir nama kita berdua
Disini syurga kita
Bila kita mencintai yg lain
Mungkin kah hati ini akan tegar
Sebisa mungkin tak akan pernah
Sayang ku akan hilang
If you love somebody
Could we be this strong
I will fight to win
Our love will conquer all
Wouldn’t risk my love
Even just one night
Our love will stay in my heart
My heart
Cool song but not so cool movie. The 'hero' and 'heroine' just wasn't up to standard. But the movie was okay. Not as cool as "Eiffel I'm in love". Futhermore, when you watch this movie, you'll be more convinced that platonic relationship doesn't exist. At all. And, I truly believe platonic relationship doesn't exist, however hard you try.
Happy fasting people.
issues after issues.

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

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Let's just say what I heard today is not good. Seriously not good at all. It all doesn't make sense cause, they're are doing the exact opposite of what they're supposed to. And those taking on these footsteps should change, for the better. Its really something illogical. I, for once will make sure my nephew doesn't follow those footsteps, cause that way, he'll not add up to the already great number of MCPs in the world.

I mean, wouldn't it be the soundest thing to go after the girl/s you like rather than just let it be? It would wouldn't it. And that would show sincerity, to me at least. I'm not snubbing at anybody in particular, cause there are others who also succumb to these illogical acts. I mean, if I'm a guy, I would probably do the cat and mouse thing cause its cool and thats when you really make a fool out of yourself, which of course isn't something bad. Plus, its fun, I suppose?

Oh wells. Forget it. No use fretting over it cause old habits are difficult to change. And of course, the least I can do is just, be indifferent, which I already am doing. But when people come up telling me all this shit, I am obviously shocked cause I'm practically the last one to know. Thank you very much for that pleasure of knowing last. Furthermore, it involves me, its a great temptation to just listen to them, but at the same time, I don't wanna listen cause, apparently it all seems to be such bullshit that is not even near to true.

Utter bullshit.

And I hate the fact that he keeps on saying I look sad and indifferent and I'm not joyous anymore. Wtff? I smile when you don't see it.Anyway, does it matter? Cause it irritates me greatly to the point that if you ever repeat that same sentence on one of my bad days, I'll scream right in your ears! Urgh. I should stop myself from getting very angry here.

And, whats more? I'm doing the exact same thing you did. I'm trying to figure out something to stop it cause it is immature but you know what, I think this is the only way to make you feel like shit.

fall into you, is all i seem to do

Saturday, September 16, 2006

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Well, it proved to be the most useless week by far. I've only managed to revise on Monday. And still have yet to finish econs which is due on Friday. The worst was falling sick with high fever, and sleeping 15 hours away.

Tell me about it. But the BBQ was quite entertaining. I was touched by the fact that some approached me while I was sitting alone looking after the bags. Eventhough it was the simplest job anyone can ever do. And PW, I'm glad they're not angry I was so damn late.

fall into you, is all i seem to do

Friday, September 15, 2006

150906

F*CK

PW sure sucks. I was about to add borders and start analysing my survey questions when *poof* the computer hangs for the upteenth time today. Urgh. One of the very very very very few instances I succumb to saying vulgarities. But I can't help it. I haven't save the damn thing. And now I have to start all over again. With my geography assignment at the back of my mind. Now all I can think about is finishing this damn thing, and send to someone to print and skip school tmr cause I know this brain of mine would not be working for geography since it's fully drained by the written report. URGH!

Why must the computer do this to me when this draft is so damn important? Why? Why? Why?

And I can't use the laptop cause my sister's asleep. I'm so going to die.


and why must all this happen all over again. it's bad enough in school.

Thursday, September 14, 2006

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Something I got from Sery. And since I'm special and kinda in the middle, I have to read two. But its cool=)
green for those things i agree with.
yellow for those i'm unsure of.
and red for the no-no!
SCORPIO WOMAN
A simple woman who always show what kind of moods she is in. You can tell right way if she upset, or if she is flirting with you. She displays herself with her act much more than trying to say it for it's in her character.
A Scorpio woman has her own mysterious personality. She is confident and deep down inside she is quite proud of herself. She hates to think she is borne a woman and so limiting her with a certain social acceptable rules. She is a real woman and despite her innocent and childish looks, she has a spirit of free soul. Many men will make mistake if they think she is a good follower, they are wrong.
She thinks being a plain simple housewife is boring. She likes to have power and control over other people, but this will be only her secret, so you will only see a cute woman. (I'm SURE!HAHA) Every things she does will look good, and she has all the woman's trick you can think of. She can manipulate men without they knowing it. (I should try!)
If you think she's going to do everything you say because she loves you, then you will be disappointed. She could be a little tomboyish and she can understand you by just looking in your eyes. You may say sweet words which could sweep any woman, but not with the Scorpio woman. She will use her X-ray eyes reading your thought of what you just said or what you are going to say. She always smile and she can really hide her feeling.
She will constantly show you that she loves freedom. If she has freedom, she will not leave you, but will even love you more. If she wants something, she will do everything to get it. She has her own sixth sense of people and you can feel that energy feed back when you around her. She likes a man who can earn her respect, and she will also respect and feel proud of that man. A man with power over her should not threat or challenge her confident. She likes to have a good looking , strong and healthy man especially if she start to compare with her friends' boyfriends. It is a plus if he hold a degree or a good career. (YUP!YUP!YUP!)
She is a hot lady. She likes heavy music. She either loves or hates, there are no "fond of", or "like" for her. Love has no "may be", or "perhaps". If she is real mad, she will trash and throw things. Her wind storm can sweep all her dishes and you could get accidentally hit on your head for this matter. Be calm, it is just your grand mother favorite china for she has good quality as much as her bad tempered.
Sometimes she shows her weakness, but it won't be long. She will put herself together and back to be that hot chili again. If she loves you, it will be no matter what other people may say. Her relationship will be more important than what is right or wrong. Because of this reason, you may know some Scorpio woman become a second wife, a mistress.
She is spoiled, but she allows her loved ones to overpower her. Dating this woman, you should not keep old love letters in your pocket or in your house. It could be a love letter 2 years ago, but never mind she will argue about this since this is a big deal for a suspicious woman. Remember she has a temper of the shrew.
If you play a cold war with her, she will treat you likewise and double it. If you stood her up once, she will stood you up 2-3 times. She is quite fair in justice, so she can accept your apologies as much as she can pretend to accept things for now and wait for a pay back revenge in the future. If you are nice to hear, she will double that to you as well. A real fair woman. She likes to make and spend money.
She likes to have fame and reputations, and never let herself broke and have no name at the same time. She is too proud and will not accept status of being "Poor". She loves to have face, so if you are a manager with small salary, she will be proud more than more money being a truck driver. She hates to think and she can not stand a feeling of being a "Nobody".
If you like her, play a little hard to get. This will excite her a bit. When you go out on a date, set your schedule, but do not let she knows that you have planned this for weeks. Always go to pick her up on time or better to go 5-10 minutes early.
SAGITTARIUS WOMAN
A tall slim and graceful woman who walked proudly like she is walking in a beauty pageant competition. If she slips or nearly falls, she will nicely covered it up and continue with her graceful and impressive walking step. She knows how to use make up to enhance her beauty. She looks at the world positively, so her face always seem so happy. She will not get upset easily.
Self confident woman who believes in her own style. She will not follow fashion, but standing in between simplicity and too modern. She is a very open person, sometimes can be too blunt. She is an honest person and never try to cause troubles for any one.
She likes to say something that you do not want to hear and yet she can say something so pleasing at the same time. Example she may say "I wish you could make more money, so you could afford better cloth, but anyway it is better this way. If you make more money you could be thinking of money too much and become greedy". She can say such thing and make you wonder if you should get upset or love her more.
She is also a free spirit and does not like to stay home. She likes to be protected, but not to give her orders. She has no respect to a weak man. If she try to over power you, then you have to calm her down and try to control her to be in a limit by doing the same thing too. She will listen if she respect you. She likes to be herself and like her guy to be himself.
She is a no nonsense woman, so you will not hear she says " Guess what I will do next", or "Guess what I am thinking" because she always say what she is thinking out loud like a guy. If you do not understand her in this matter, you could easily break up with her. She sees problems in her love life as another funny story.
She is clumsy and it is in her nature. You may think it is cute, but for some neat guys this could be so unbearable. She is very friendly, so she can easily turn her enemy to be her friends. She has good taste in fine cloths, good food, first class and first services. Even a poor woman in this Zodiac will struggle to afford such good taste. She could spent lots of money as if she can not understand how difficult it is to make money. If you think of let her borrow money, think again.
She is a paranoid. If she thinks you like her, she may already think about getting marry and losing her freedom and so on and on. A jolly woman who loves sports. She is an ordinary woman who could dress like a tomboy. She has more guy friends and sometimes could act like one of a guy. She does not care about rumors, so she can get home very late and couldn't careless what her neighbor will gossip about her. She thinks either good or bad, you will know it yourself , so you should not bother what people think.
Her wit and innocent look are her charms. She is often hurt from love, (like, who's not?)but never afraid to look for a new one as if she is singing "Do that to me one more time". She likes going straight to the point and being straight forward. She will not go around to get what she wants, or beat around the bush just to say something. If you meet her and tell her straight what you think, she will admire you. (YESYESYES!)
Super cool ya?
I had a great time out with wana.
Cheers to our bestfriend-ship=D
tralalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalallala

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

120906

oh my god.

I was actually energised when I just reached home after the waffles I ate.
But after singing the barney song continuously to make my nephew sleep, I am damn tired. The worst thing of all is that he slept for awhile only and woke up again. Damn tiring!

But he's so cute, so it doesn't matter =D
And he's kinda sick. Been crying non-stop. Sucha darling.

oh. I do have my limits okay.
And things are working out pretty well.

my heart nearly stop beating yesterday.

Sunday, September 10, 2006

100906

I think garfield is the only cat I'll keep.
Cause he's fat, cute and lazy.
But too bad, he's unreal.

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I'm happy that I met my primary school friends eventhough I was all shagged in shorts(very short shorts) at McAdmiralty. Come to think about it, its been months since I last went there. I was quite suprised I saw them and that they remember me. Especially Yee Siong cause he called my name and was very persistent to make me remember his name. I've always have difficulty remember chinese names. No offence la cause its all because of the two word nature, and I always end up remember one word only and because, its undeniable that I'm slow and can't think right there and then. Anyways, it was his birthday and all. How cool, and I remembered it was Firdaus's too. And I saw Ain today too, she was at the Gala Dinner in school(which was very pathethic looking at the tent and all) doing some waitressing.

Cool day. Got to know cool things.

And the tempatation to click on your name is always there cause I have 1001 things to say and ask(i think?cause i find it comfortable talking to you) but I'm just afraid it'll worsen the already bad situation. The way I think it will.

Saturday, September 09, 2006

090906

My one week holiday was full of nothings.
Urgh. I was supposed to finish up all my work by wed so I can start studying.
But no. I just had to have fun.
And I'm still left with work to do and lots of catching up to do.

And, whoever thought that the unwillingness to pass a coke bottle can make someone cry?
SHOCKING!

Should I look forward to the start of school?

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070906

1220AM. I came home to a fully lit house with everyone home and awake. How very appropriate eh? And it was only 1220 laa. But I enjoyed the day too much to be bothered about the time at all. My only worry was all about the last bus cause I never want to walk home from the interchange. So, got a warning of some sort. I just can't be bothered. As usual:)

We went ZARA! And we got to know who have the biggest what. Ooops.
Starbucks-ing after that. Pure love=D


It was a very fine day I shall say.

Met up with raudah too:)

I hate buying gifts and presents cause I end up liking them too. Bleah

And, to Latiffa Rabbaniyah a.k.a my most annoying and irritating sister:

retarded!

get a life can? i know you're reading this and later reporting it to everyone in the whole wide world. and stop making up "asmara like this guy" and "have a crush on this guy" thing. so annoying! the way you are. and i have your 'secret' boyfriend's number. you don't want me to complain to him. do you? =D

i'm happy

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

060906

Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things I didn’t do for you

Hate me in ways
Yeah ways hard to swallow
Hate me so you can finally see what’s good for you
For you
For you
For you

Hate me-Blue October

I'm tired. Very tired. And I regret.

i think i'm falling in love

060906

After all the problems I've listened to, I really think GUYS are the root of all evil.
They are the ones who usually make the lives of people all around me(and myself of course) a living hell.
(Not all guys though. Those irritating, inconsiderate bastards only. )

And. I'm not being a sex-ist here. You guys have to admit that its true.

And, I'm talking about all guys in general.

Monday, September 04, 2006

040906

Port Dickson was fun=D
I had so much fun pigging out till I badly need to run tomorrow.
All the pisanggorengs+keropoklekor+seafood+junk makes me fat.
And I miss A&W and the root beer float!

And I enjoyed all the water activities.
And I enjoyed shopping at Watsons. Shopping at Watsons was never that fun I tell you. But since all of us was deprived of real shopping centres, we're glad there's Watsons!

And now I'm in a holiday mood. Shitty shit.
And I have alot of catching up to do this week.
I shall diligently come to school everyday to study.
And only have one day off which is prolly Thurs so I can meet up with Raudah
I miss her. A WHOLE LOT.

I did a little shopping with Sery today. And I'm getting that Puma bag for sure thanks to my mom. I'm so loving my mommy cause she's way way way nicer than my father.

and so I question myself about it. I don't have the answer, or I'm afraid its something I'm trying to avoid.


when you love some one but it goes to waste could it be worse?